The Festering Wound

You know what… no gradual build up. Not today.

Why is it that some sins seem more accepted than others.  Why do some struggles have to be hidden away and destined to be battled simply by one poor soul? 

For the active members of this blog, we know the idea of an elephant in the room.  I hate to be the one to resurface an idea that we have attempted to forget, but in conversation with Marc, he helped me find something to write about.  Marc told me that i have to find something that I’m passionate about and write.

Unfortunately, I’m the one that seems to be the person that must bring this up.  I’m not proud of it, and its a reality.  I’m a guy and I struggle with the lusts of the flesh.    For goodness sake I don’t know a guy that doesn’t.  So, with that established, i’m not afraid to admit that I struggle with the devilish images that please the darkest parts of temptations. 

I try to not blog about something so personal. But it’s something that I feel must be addressed.  It sickens my soul to hear about young men who struggle with this issue.  Whether it be friends little brothers, or my actual friends.  In the ‘Christian world’ conversations about pornography seem to need special occasions in order to warn people about the dangers of the matter.  I recall all the times growing up in the Church and all the special nights where the different genders would be separated talked to about the different struggles faced.  No offense, but these events never really made a difference (at least as far as I knew).

It didn’t take a special event for me to know that it wasn’t something that I should be indulging in. But in those younger stages, I really didn’t care.  Honestly, I was trapped in my sin.  Not just trapped, addicted.  I don’t recall what it was that made the initial change, but I began to realize how displeasing my sin was.  My mind was beginning to stray, and I almost began to view women in a different way.  Sure, enjoyed it at the moment, but after, there was guilt that could only be rid by quenching the temptations of sin.  Fortunately, I made a friend that through multiple deep conversations I discovered that he too suffered from the same hindrances in his faith.  Though we both made ‘commitments’ to accountability, and though the extra side of conviction assisted in the resistance at times, I still had that temptation and really struggled to fight it. 

Now I can say that it’s not so much a problem.  Temptation, yes. But I no longer struggle so deeply as I did before.  Things changed when I did one thing that has made the difference.  I talked to my parents.  I reallized that I was trying to do it all on my own.  Sorry Ruck, it ain’t gonna happen.  Even though I could get around any ‘road block’ my parents set befor me in order to stop me from gazing up such things, there was something more in talking to the parental units.  They are the most important ruling force established over us.  We don’t choose who are parents are, I believe it’s God that did that one.  In making a commitment to my parents, I made it a commitment before God.

With this I conclude:  I desire for people to understand the importance of abstaining from these temptations.  It’s not gonna be easy.  Why let this wound fester?  Whether it be running home to lick your wounds. Or just as the worst bone fractures require re-breaking the bone in order that it may properly heal.  Not gonna be easy,  Be a masochist



  1. I’m going to try to put this video up on the blog because it won’t accept videos in the comment box. As a silent Administrator, I will let him comment on a very courageous and needed post.

    John Piper – “Is God Better Than Sex?” on YouTube

  2. Isn’t it easy to be a fish? For goodness sake, it can be fun to be a fish. Swim around in the vast ocean. Just think of ‘Finding Nemo’ the ocean is a journey… But wouldn’t it be so much greater to soar on wings like eagles.

  3. Thank for the transparency. It is refreshing to see students actually caring this deeply about sin.

  4. […] Wound (A Comment) I attempted to put this video as a comment to jruxor’s courageous post yesterday, but the comments box couldn’t handle it. Lust is not new to the scene. History […]

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